Sunday, August 12, 2007

The Funniest Thing I Heard Today - 8.10.07

Hymns Of The Laodicean Church (God’s Frozen People)

The Laodicean Church announces publication of "Church Songs," whose title, according to the editor, was chosen because "We didn’t want to turn anybody off with threatening words that no one understands anymore like ’worship’ or ’hymn.’ People in today’s society get kind of uncomfortable with too much talk about things like commitment and dedication. They’d much rather have a religion that they can turn on or off at will. Our book seeks to meet that need."

Table Of Contents:

A Comfy Mattress Is Our God
Above Average is Thy Faithfulness
All Hail the Influence of Jesus’ Name

Amazing Grace, How Interesting the Sound

Be Thou My Hobby
Blest Be the Tie That Doesn’t Cramp My Style

God of Taste, and God of Stories

He’s Quite a Bit to Me

I Lay My Inappropriate Behaviors on Jesus
I Surrender Some
I’m Fairly Certain That My Redeemer Lives

Joyful, Joyful, We Kinda Like Thee

Lift Every Voice and Intellectualize
Lord, Keep Us Loosely Connected to Your Word

My Faith Looks Around for Thee
My Hope is Built on Nothing Much

O God, Our Enabler in Ages Past
Oh, for a Couple of Tongues to Sing
Oh, How I Like Jesus

Pillow of Ages, Fluffed for Me
Praise God from Whom All Affirmations Flow

Self-Esteem to the World! The Lord is Come
Sit Up, Sit Up for Jesus
Special, Special, Special
Spirit of the Living God, Fall Somewhere Near Me
Stick Nearby, It’s Getting Dark Outside

Take My Life and Let Me Be
There is Scattered Cloudiness in My Soul Today
There Shall be Sprinkles of Blessings

What an Acquaintance We Have in Jesus
When Peace, Like a Trickle. . .
When the Saints Go Sneaking In
Where He Leads Me, I Will Consider Following

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